The Key to Your Spouse’s Heart | @Jimmy Evans

The Key to Your Spouse’s Heart | @Jimmy Evans

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Read Time:25 Minute, 24 Second

People desire to be married, but many doubt if marriage still works. Jimmy Evans discusses the perfect plan for a lasting marriage that will give you the key to fulfilling your spouse’s heart.

From “The Indestructible Marriage” series by Jimmy Evans.
http://www.marriagetoday.com/indestructible

>> COMING UP ON “MARRIAGE TODAY

WITH JIMMY & KAREN”…

Jimmy Evans: IF WE ARE GOING TO

HAVE INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE,

IT MEANS WE TRUST EACH OTHER.

A MAN TRUSTS AN HONORING WOMAN,

AND A WOMAN TRUSTS A SACRIFICIAL

MALE. AND WHEN THE BIBLE TELLS

WOMEN TO RESPECT THEIR HUSBANDS

AND MEN TO LAY THEIR LIVES DOWN,

HE’S NOT PUTTING YOU DOWN, HE’S

TELLING YOU HOW TO HAVE THE KEY

TO YOUR SPOUSE’S HEART AND TO

ESTABLISH TRUST AND INTIMACY IN

YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

MARRIAGE IS A PARADOX IN AMERICA

TODAY. RESEARCH SHOWS THAT EVEN

THOUGH 93% OF ADULTS SAY THAT

HAVING A STABLE MARRIAGE FOR A

LIFETIME WAS VERY IMPORTANT TO

THEM, LESS THAN HALF BELIEVE

THAT IT IS STILL POSSIBLE TO

ATTAIN. PEOPLE HAVEN’T LOST THE

DREAM OF MARRIAGE, THEY’VE LOST

THE HOPE. THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT

MARRIAGE STILL WORKS. THE

PROBLEM ISN’T WITH MARRIAGE,

IT’S WITH OUR IGNORANCE AND

MISUNDERSTANDING OF IT. TODAY

WE’RE TALKING ABOUT THE PERFECT

PLAN FOR MARRIAGE THAT WILL GIVE

YOU THE KEY TO YOUR SPOUSE’S

HEART.

YOU HAVE A 100% CHANCE

OF SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE.

BUT YOU HAVE TO DO IT GOD’S WAY.

AND I WANT TO GIVE YOU SOME

REALLY GOOD NEWS. GOD HAS A WAY.

AND HIS PERFECT PLAN FOR

MARRIAGE IS FOUND IN THE BIBLE,

AND IF WE WILL FOLLOW THIS PLAN,

IT WILL WORK FOR US AND WE CAN

HAVE AN INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE.

WE TRULY CAN. GOD NEVER CREATES

ANYTHING TO FAIL. GOD NEVER

CREATES ANYTHING TO HURT US OR

FRUSTRATE US. THE REASON THAT

MARRIAGE IS FAILING TODAY IS

JUST SIMPLY WE’RE TRYING TO DO

IT DIFFERENT THAN GOD DESIGNED

IT TO BE. AND SO WHEN WE DO IT

GOD’S WAY, WE CAN SUCCEED.

SO EPHESIANS CHAPTER 5. I’M

ACTUALLY GOING TO BEGIN WITH AN

INCOMPLETE SENTENCE. THIS IS

VERSE 21. AND I’M SAYING THIS

BECAUSE OF WHAT VERSE 22 SAYS.

IT SAYS, “SUBMITTING TO ONE

ANOTHER IN THE FEAR OF GOD.”

THAT’S VERSE 21, EPHESIANS 5:21.

THEN IT SAYS, “WIVES SUBMIT TO

YOUR OWN HUSBANDS AS TO THE

LORD, FOR THE HUSBAND IS THE

HEAD OF THE WIFE AS ALSO CHRIST

IS HEAD OF THE CHURCH, AND HE IS

THE SAVIOR OF THE BODY.

THEREFORE JUST AS THE CHURCH IS

SUBJECT TO CHRIST, SO LET THE

WIVES BE TO THEIR OWN HUSBANDS

IN EVERYTHING. HUSBANDS, LOVE

YOUR WIVES, JUST AS CHRIST ALSO

LOVED THE CHURCH AND GAVE

HIMSELF FOR HER THAT HE MIGHT

SANCTIFY AND CLEANSE HER WITH

THE WASHING OF WATER BY THE WORD

THAT HE MIGHT PRESENT HER TO

HIMSELF A GLORIOUS CHURCH NOT

HAVING SPOT OR WRINKLE OR ANY

SUCH THING, BUT THAT SHE SHOULD

BE HOLY AND WITHOUT BLEMISH.”

SO HUSBANDS “ARE TO LOVE THEIR

OWN WIVES AS THEIR OWN BODIES.

HE WHO LOVES HIS WIFE LOVES

HIMSELF. FOR NO ONE EVER HATED

HIS OWN FLESH, BUT NOURISHES

AND CHERISHES IT JUST AS THE

LORD DOES THE CHURCH. FOR WE ARE

MEMBERS OF HIS BODY, OF HIS

FLESH AND OF HIS BONES.

FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL

LEAVE HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER

AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE AND

THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.

THIS IS A GREAT MYSTERY, BUT I

SPEAK CONCERNING CHRIST AND THE

CHURCH. NEVERTHELESS, LET EACH

ONE OF YOU IN PARTICULAR SO LOVE

HIS OWN WIFE AS HIMSELF. AND LET

THE WIFE SEE THAT SHE RESPECTS

HER HUSBAND.”

NOW, I WANT TO SAY ONE MORE

TIME, THERE IS NO PLAN B. GOD

DOESN’T NEED A PLAN B. PLAN A IS

PERFECT. AND SO WHEN I’M

COUNSELING PEOPLE IN MARRIAGE, I

GO TO THE BIBLE, AND I READ

EPHESIANS CHAPTER 5 TO COUPLES

WHO ARE STRUGGLING IN THEIR

MARRIAGE. AND LET ME SAY THIS

RARELY HAVE I EVER GOTTEN A

POSITIVE RESPONSE…FROM

CHRISTIANS. THE TEXT THAT WE

JUST READ IN THE BIBLE IS ONE OF

THE MOST, UH, DISLIKED TEXTS IN

THE BIBLE FOR CHRISTIANS.

CHRISTIANS. I’M TELLING YOU,

CHRISTIANS DON’T LIKE IT. AND

THIS CHRISTIAN DIDN’T LIKE IT

BEFORE I UNDERSTOOD IT. BUT

THERE’S TWO COMMON REACTIONS. WE

LIKE WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT OUR

SPOUSE…

[LAUGHTER]

IF MOST MEN DON’T KNOW ANY OTHER

VERSE IN THE BIBLE EXCEPT

“SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND AS THE

LORD”…IF HE DOESN’T KNOW ANY

OTHER VERSE IN THE BIBLE, HE HAS

MEMORIZED THAT ONE RIGHT THERE.

AND SO WE LOVE WHAT IT SAYS.

NOW, LISTEN TO WHAT I’M SAYING.

WOMEN LOVE WHAT EPHESIANS 5

WHEN YOU READ EPHESIANS 5 TO A

WOMAN AND IT SAYS YOUR HUSBAND

IS TO LAY HIS LIFE DOWN FOR YOU

AND NOURISH YOU AND CHERISH YOU,

LADIES, HOW MANY OF YOU LIKE

THAT? I MEANEVERY WOMAN,

“ANSWER TO A PRAYER.” SHE’S IN

HEAVEN. AND SO, MEN, THAT SHE’S

SUPPOSED TO HONOR YOU AS SHE

DOES THE LORD. MEN, DO YOU LIKE

THAT? ALL THE MEN LIKE THAT.

OK. SO I’M JUST SAYING, WE LOVE

WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT OUR SPOUSE.

WE JUST DON’T LIKE WHAT IT SAYS

ABOUT US. NOW, THAT OUGHT TO

TELL US SOMETHING. YOUR SPOUSE

LOVES WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU.

BUT WE FEEL THREATENED, AND I’M

GOING TO EXPLAIN THAT IN JUST A

MINUTE. THE OTHER RESPONSE THAT

YOU GET WHEN YOU TALK TO

CHRISTIANS ABOUT EPHESIANS 5 IS,

WE FEAR BEING THE FIRST ONE TO

DO IT. IT’S LIKE, I WANT THEM

TO GO FIRST. WOMEN SAY, WELL, I

WOULD SUBMIT TO HIM LIKE THE

LORD IF HE ACTED ANYTHING

REMOTELY LIKE JESUS.

[LAUGHTER]

HE ACTS LIKE THE DEVIL. AND IF I

SUBMITTED TO HIM OR RESPECTED

HIM, IT WOULD JUST ENCOURAGE

HIM, AND I AM ON A MISSION BY

GOD TO HUMBLE THIS MAN.

I AM THE ONLY THING KEEPING HIM

HUMBLE. AND SO I DON’T WANT TO

FEED THE MONSTER, YOU KNOW, BY

HONORING HIM TOO MUCH. AND SO

IT’S LIKE, YOU KNOW, I DON’T

WANT TO GO FIRST. AND THEN THE

MEN SAY, WELL, YEAH, I

UNDERSTAND WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT

LAYING MY LIFE DOWN, BUT IT

WON’T WORK FOR HER.

SO, UNDERSTAND, THERE IS NO

OTHER PLAN. NOTHING ELSE WORKS.

IF YOU HAD BEEN THERENOW I

WANT TO GO BACK AND SAY, KAREN

AND I WERE ON THE BRINK OF

DIVORCE. WE DID NOT DO THIS WHEN

WE GOT MARRIED. WE DIDN’T KNOW

THAT THIS EVEN EXISTED WHEN WE

GOT MARRIED. AND SO IF YOU’RE

NOT DOING THISBEEN THERE, DONE

THATBUT NOT ONLY DOES IT WORK,

IT’S PHENOMENAL. IT’S BRILLIANT.

AND IT’S GOD’S PLAN A. SO I JUST

WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF THIS

TEACHING TALKING ABOUT THE

BRILLIANCE OF EPHESIANS CHAPTER

5. SEE, A LOT OF TIMES WHEN YOU

READ THE BIBLE, WE SEE IT AS

BEING RELIGIOUS, OR GOD’S SOME

FUDDY-DUDDY. YOU KNOW, I DON’T

KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. IT’S

RELIGIOUS TALK. NO, IT’S

BRILLIANT. THIS IS GOD’S PERFECT

PLAN. IT WILL TAKE YOU, BOTH

SPOUSES, BECAUSE MARRIAGE IS A

WIN-WIN PROPOSITION. AND WHEN IT

SAYS, BY THE WAYI STARTED WITH

AN INCOMPLETE SENTENCE,

“SUBMITTING TO ONE ANOTHER IN

THE FEAR OF CHRIST.” MEN AND

WOMEN ARE EQUALS. AND WHEN THE

BIBLE SAYS, “WOMEN, SUBMIT TO

YOUR HUSBAND AS TO THE LORD,”

ALSO MEN ARE TO BE HUMBLE

SERVANT LEADERS OF THEIR WIVES.

MEN ARE NOT THE LEADERS OF THE

HOME SO THEY GET THE BIG CHAIR

AND THE CLICKER AND THE WOMAN’S

SUPPOSED TO WAIT ON THEM HAND

AND FOOT. MEN ARE THE HEAD OF

THE HOMES THE WAY JESUS IS.

THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO LAY THEIR

LIVES DOWN FOR THEIR WIVES.

AND SO NO ONE SHOULD BE

THREATENED BY THIS, BECAUSE NO

ONE IS GOING TO BE THE VICTIM OF

EPHESIANS 5. IT IS GONNA BE THE

VERY BEST THING THAT EVER

HAPPENED TO YOU, AND LET ME TELL

YOU WHY. NUMBER ONETHE ROLES

IN EPHESIANS 5 MAKE US

ATTRACTIVE TO OUR SPOUSE AND

CAUSE THEM TO OPEN THEIR HEARTS

TO US. BECAUSE WHEN YOU HEAR ME

TALK ABOUT INTIMACY, NOW,

INTIMACY IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN

UNLESS YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO

EACH OTHER. AND THIS IS WHAT

EPHESIANS 5, WHEN YOU DO WHAT

EPHESIANS 5 SAYS, IT ACTUALLY IS

WHAT MAKES YOU ATTRACTIVE TO

YOUR SPOUSE. LET ME GIVE YOU AN

EXAMPLE OF THIS, AND I’LL TALK

TO THE WOMEN FIRST SIMPLY

BECAUSE EPHESIANS TALKS TO WOMEN

FIRST. NUMBER ONE NEED OF A MAN

IS HONOR. IT’S THE NUMBER ONE

NEED. IT’SMEN NEED4 BASIC

NEEDS OF A MAN IS HONOR, SEX,

FRIENDSHIP WITH THEIR WIVES, AND

DOMESTIC SUPPORT. THOSE ARE THE

BIG 4 NEEDS. BUT THE MEGA-NEED

OF MEN IS THE NEED FOR HONOR.

IT’S OXYGEN IN OUR WORLD. WE ARE

SO FRAGILE IN THE AREA OF OUR

EGOS, IT’S HARD FOR WOMEN TO

UNDERSTAND IT. AND JUST THE

LEAST LOOK, THE LEAST TONE OF

DISRESPECT IN A WORD AFFECTS US

MORE THAN WE COULD EVER TELL OUR

WIVES. I SAID TO KAREN MANY

TIMES EARLY IN OUR MARRIAGE,

KAREN, IT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAY,

IT’S HOW YOU SAY IT. IT’S JUST

THE ATTITUDE, THE TONE THAT

YOU’RE CARRYING IN WHAT YOU’RE

SAYING. SHE DIDN’T UNDERSTAND

HOW IMPORTANT THIS NEED WAS TO

ME. WELL, FIRST PETER 3 IS

TALKING TO WOMEN, AND IT’S

TELLINGIT’S GIVING WOMEN THIS

PROMISE: YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR

HUSBAND’S DISOBEDIENT BEHAVIOR

WITHOUT OPENING YOUR MOUTH.

THAT’S THE PROMISE OF FIRST

PETER 3. IT SAYS TO WOMEN,

“DO NOT LET YOUR ORNAMENT BE

MERELY EXTERNAL, ARRANGING THE

HAIR, WEARING GOLD, OR PUTTING

ON FINE APPAREL. RATHER LET IT

BE IN THE HIDDEN PERSON OF THE

HEART WITH THE INCORRUPTIBLE

BEAUTY OF A GENTLE AND QUIET

SPIRIT”THAT’S JUST SIMPLY AN

HONORING SPIRIT”WHICH IS VERY

PRECIOUS IN THE SIGHT OF GOD.

FOR IN THIS MANNER, IN FORMER

TIMES THE HOLY WOMEN WHO TRUSTED

IN GOD ADORNED THEMSELVES, BEING

SUBMISSIVE TO THEIR OWN

HUSBANDS, AS SARAH OBEYED

ABRAHAM, CALLING HIM LORD, WHOSE

DAUGHTERS YOU ARE IF YOU DO GOOD

AND ARE NOT AFRAID WITH ANY

TERROR.” BECAUSE THE DEVIL USES

FEAR. WHENEVER YOU’RE WANTING TO

BE A WIFENOW, WHEN THE BIBLE

SAYS SUBMISSIVE, WE’RE EQUALS.

MEN AND WOMEN ARE COMPLETELY

EQUAL, SO THIS ISN’TWHEN I USE

THE WORD “SUBMISSIVE,” I’M NOT

USING IT IN THAT SICK KIND OF

SENSE OF MEN DOMINEERING WOMEN.

WE’RE COMPLETELY EQUALS. KAREN

AND I NEVER, EVER TALK ABOUT

WHO THE BOSS IS IN OUR HOME,

BECAUSE THE BOSS OF OUR HOME IS

JESUS CHRIST. WE’RE COMPLETE

PARTNERS. WE DON’T EVER MAKE

DECISIONS UNLESS WE BOTH AGREE.

I NEVER DOMINATE HER, I NEVER

BULLY HER, SHE DOESN’T DO IT TO

ME. THAT’S SICK AND THAT’S

DYSFUNCTIONAL. AND THAT’S NOT

WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. THAT’S

NOT WHAT THE BIBLE’S TALKING

ABOUT IS THAT SICK KIND OF A

THING. BUT WHEN THE BIBLE SAYS

“GENTLE AND QUIET,” IT’S THE

OPPOSITE OF ROUGH AND LOUD.

AND A GENTLE AND QUIET SPIRIT IS

A SPIRIT OF TRUST. IT’S, I DON’T

HAVE TO DISRESPECT YOU. I DON’T

HAVE TO BROWBEAT YOU. I DON’T

HAVE TO NAG YOU. I’VE GOT GOD ON

MY SIDE. AND I’M GOING TO HAVE A

GENTLE AND QUIET SPIRIT. AND

HERE’S WHAT IT’S SAYING. LADIES,

YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL. AND WOMEN ARE

BEAUTIFUL. YOU CAN’T HELP IT.

YOU’RE JUST BEAUTIFUL. BUT DON’T

LET YOUR BEAUTY JUST BE ON THE

OUTSIDE. THIS IS WHAT IT’S

SAYING. YOU NEED TO BE INWARDLY

BEAUTIFUL, TOO. NOW, LET ME MAKE

THIS COMMENT ABOUT OUR SOCIETY.

THE MORE INWARDLY DEPRAVED A

CULTURE BECOMES, THE MORE

EXTERNALLY FOCUSED THEY BECOME.

THE LESS YOU HAVE HAPPENING ON

THE INSIDE, THE MORE YOU HAVE TO

MAKE HAPPEN ON THE OUTSIDE.

WELL, I’M ALL FOR WOMEN BEING

BEAUTIFUL ON THE OUTSIDE. BOY,

THERE ARE A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL

WOMEN IN HERE, AND I KNOW

THERE’S A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN

ACROSS THE COUNTRY WATCHING THIS

RIGHT NOW. YOU CAN’T HELP IT,

BECAUSE GOD MADE YOU BEAUTIFUL.

BUT DON’T RELY SIMPLY ON YOUR

OUTER BEAUTY, BECAUSE WHAT MAKES

YOU MOST ATTRACTIVE TO A MAN IS

YOUR SPIRIT. NOW, WHEN KAREN AND

I MET WHEN WE WERE 16 YEARS

OLDACTUALLY, WE WENT TO

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TOGETHER AND

JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER, BUT

WE DIDN’T KNOW EACH OTHER. WE

HAD A VERY LARGE GRADUATING

CLASS. WE’RE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE

OF THE BABY BOOMERS. BUT WE MET

IN HIGH SCHOOL. AND LET ME SAY,

YOU KNOW, THERE WERE A LOT OF

CUTE GIRLS IN HIGH SCHOOL. BUT

THERE WERE CUTE GIRLS THAT I

DIDN’T LIKE THEIR SPIRIT. THEY

WERE AGGRESSIVE, THEY WERE, YOU

KNOW, KIND OF, UH, YOU KNOW,

LOUD AND BOISTEROUS. AND I

DIDN’T FEEL SAFE AROUND THEM,

PERSONALLY. BUT THEY WERE

PRETTY. THE THING THAT ATTRACTED

ME TO KAREN WAS HER SPIRIT.

SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL ON THE

OUTSIDE, BUT KAREN HAD A SPIRIT

THAT I WAS ATTRACTED TO. THAT’S

WHY I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER,

BECAUSE I LIKED THE WAY I FELT

WHEN I WAS AROUND HER. AND WHAT

EPHESIANS 5 IS SAYING IS,

RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND. GOING BACK

TO FIRST PETER 3, WITHOUT EVER

OPENINGRESPECT IS SO POWERFUL

IN A MAN’S WORLD, YOU CAN CHANGE

YOUR HUSBAND WITHOUT A WORD

AS HE OBSERVES YOUR CHASTE AND

RESPECTFUL BEHAVIOR. THAT’S THE

PROMISE OF FIRST PETER 3. IT’S

IT’S POWERFUL. IT’S WHAT MAKES

YOU ATTRACTIVE TO YOUR HUSBAND.

GOD’S NOT PUTTING YOU DOWN, HE’S

GIVING YOU THE KEY TO YOUR

HUSBAND’S HEART. YOU’LL NEVER

RELATE TO ANY MALE WITHOUT

HONOR. IF YOU HAVE SONS, ANY OF

YOU LADIES THAT ARE RAISING

BOYS, I’M JUST SAYING, YOU’LL

NEVER INFLUENCE YOUR BOYS UNLESS

YOU SHOW HIM RESPECT. BOYS ARE

JUST LITTLE MEN, AND THEY HAVE

THE SAME NEED TO BE HONORED AND

AFFIRMED IN ORDER FOR THEM TO

OPEN THEIR HEARTS AND TO

INFLUENCE THEM. WELL, LET ME GO

TO THE MEN FOR JUST A MINUTE,

‘CAUSE IT’S REALLY GETTING TENSE

IN HERE.

[LAUGHTER]

NUMBER ONE NEED OF A WOMAN IS

SECURITY. AND SO WHAT THE BIBLE

SAYS TO MEN, AND WE READ IT

THERE IN EPHESIANS 5. DO YOU

REALIZE THE BIBLE SAYS TWICE AS

MUCH TO MEN AS IT SAYS TO WOMEN?

AND IT SAYS, MEN, YOU’RE

SUPPOSED TO BE A CHRIST-LIKE

HUSBAND, TO LAY YOUR LIFE DOWN

FOR HER. NOW, AS MEN, WE’RE

HONOR ORIENTED. BUT WOMEN ARE

SECURITY ORIENTED.

IT DOESN’T MEAN THEY DON’T NEED

TO BE RESPECTED.

BUT THEY’RE MUCH MORE ORIENTED

TOWARDS SECURITY. WHAT MAKES HER

FEEL SECURE IS A SELFLESS,

SACRIFICIAL MAN. WHEN KAREN AND

I GOT MARRIED, I WAS A SELFISH

IDIOT. I DIDN’T CARE ABOUT HER.

I ONLY CARED ABOUT MYSELF. THE

ONLY REASON SHE WAS THERE WAS TO

TAKE CARE OF ME AND TO DO WHAT I

WANTED HER TO DO. I WAS NOT

SENSITIVE, I WAS NOT

SACRIFICIAL, AND I PRODUCED

ABSOLUTE INSECURITY IN MY WIFE

UNTIL I CHANGED. AND SO WHEN THE

BIBLE TALKS ABOUT MEN AND THE

WAY WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BEHAVE

AROUND OUR WIVESNOURISHING AND

CHERISHING, LAYING OUR LIVES

DOWNWOMEN FEEL SECURE WHEN

THEY HAVE A SELFLESS,

SACRIFICIAL HUSBAND WHO IS TUNED

INTO THEM AND HAS A SERVANT

HEART FOR THEM. WOMEN FEEL

INSECURE WHEN THEY’RE MARRIED TO

A SELFISH, DETACHED HUSBAND

WHO’S NOT IN TUNE WITH THEM. AND

OF COURSE THAT’S THE WAY THAT I

WAS IN OUR RELATIONSHIP. SO LET

ME GO BACK TO THE ISSUE OF

SAYING, WHAT MAKES MEN

ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN IS THE

SACRIFICIAL NATURE. AND LET ME

PROVE IT THROUGH RESEARCH.

THEY’VE DONE STUDIES OF WOMEN.

THEY’VE ASKED WOMEN, WHAT MAKES

YOUR HUSBAND MOST SEXUALLY

ATTRACTIVE TO YOU? THEY’VE ASKED

THIS QUESTION IN NUMEROUS

STUDIES THAT HAVE BEEN DONE.

EITHER AT THE TOP OF THE LIST OR

ALWAYS TOWARD THE TOP OF THE

LIST IS THIS RESPONSE BY WOMEN.

HE’S MOST SEXUALLYLISTENI’M

ABOUT TO GIVE YOU A SEX SECRET,

GUYS. THAT’S WHY YOU CAME TO

THIS SEMINAR, IS…

WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND MOST

SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE TO YOU?

WHEN HE’S DOING HOUSEWORK.

THAT’S EITHER THE NUMBER ONE

OVER AND OVER, WOMEN SAY, WHEN

HE’S DOING HOUSEWORK. THAT’S

WHEN HE’S SEXIEST TO ME, IS WHEN

HE’S HELPINGAND A LOT OF MEN

THINK, I’M GONNA GO GET ME A

TAN, YOU KNOW, THE OLD CHAINS

AND…

[LAUGHTER]

PUT MY LOVE BRITCHES ON AND KIND

OF, YOU KNOW, STRUT THROUGH THE

HOUSE. NO, JUST GRAB THE VACUUM.

THAT’S ALL SHE NEEDS. YOU KNOW,

WASH THE DISHES, HELP AROUND THE

HOUSE. IT’S ABSOLUTELY TRUE.

WELL, THEN THEY DID A STUDY, AND

THIS HAS BEEN REPLICATED OVER

AND OVER. THE UNIVERSITY OF

PENNSYLVANIA IS THE ONE I’M

TALKING ABOUT. THEY DID A STUDY

OF THE EFFECTS OF MALE SWEAT ON

WOMEN. AND THESE RESEARCHERS

TOOK MALE SWEAT AND APPLIED IT

TO THE TOP LIP OF WOMEN. NOW,

THEY DIDN’T TELL THEM IT WAS

MALE SWEAT, THEY TOLD THEM IT

WAS A HOUSEHOLD PRODUCT.

‘CAUSE WOMEN SAY, “OH, GROSS, I

DON’T LIKE MALE SWEAT.” WELL,

LISTEN TO THIS RESEARCH. ‘CAUSE

SEVERAL RESEARCHERS DIED, BY THE

WAY, AND WE APPRECIATE THEIR

SACRIFICE.

[LAUGHTER]

AND…SO THEY PUT MALE SWEAT

ON THE TOP LIP OF WOMEN,

AND THEY WIRED THEM UP

SO THEY COULD PHYSIOLOGICALLY

REGISTER THE EFFECTS OF THIS

MALE SWEAT. OK. AND HERE’S WHAT

HAPPENED. WHEN WOMEN WERE UNDER

THE INFLUENCE OF MALE SWEAT,

THEY RELAXED, THEY GOT HAPPY,

AND THEY GOT ROMANTIC.

[LAUGHTER]

ISN’T THAT AMAZING? AND SO, GOD

SAYS TO MEN, SACRIFICE, LAY YOUR

LIFE DOWN FOR HER, SERVE HER.

AND YOU’RE SAYING, AH, I DON’T

WANT TO DO THAT.

I JUST WANT A WIFE THAT’S

JUST, YOU KNOW, SHE’S ALWAYS

SEXUAL AND SHE DOESN’T NEED ALL

THAT. THEY DON’T EXIST. NOT IN

THE REAL WORLD, ANYWAY. I CAN

TELL YOU THAT RIGHT NOW.

AND SO FOR WOMEN, GOD JUST MADE

THEM WHERE THEY’RE ATTRACTED TO

YOU. WHEN YOU’RE BEING

SACRIFICIAL AND WHEN YOU’RE

SERVING HER, SHE BECOMES

ATTRACTED. SO LET ME GIVE YOU

THE INTERPRETATION, BY THE WAY,

OF THESE STUDIES.

THEY ASK WOMEN,

WHEN IS YOUR HUSBAND MOST

SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE? WHEN HE’S

DOING HOUSEWORK. AND THEN THEY

STUDIED MALE SWEAT. SO HERE’S

THE INTERPRETATION TO ALL YOU

GUYS. YOU’RE JUST A CLEAN HOUSE

AWAY FROM THE NIGHT OF YOUR

DREAMS.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT’S THE INTERPRETATION HERE

OF THIS RESEARCH. SO LET ME SAY

THIS TO YOU NOW. YOU CAN NEVER

THE INTIMACY IS THE PRIZE OF

MARRIAGE. IT’S THE PRIZE. WHEN

YOU GET INTIMACY, YOU GOT

EVERYTHING. YOU CANNOT BE

INTIMATE WITH A PERSON UNTIL

THEY OPEN THEIR HEARTS. AND YOU

WILL NEVER OPEN YOUR HEART TO

A PERSON WHO IS THREATENING YOUR

MOST SENSITIVE ISSUES. I JUST

WON’T DO IT. IF YOU’RE

DISHONORING ME, I’M JUST TELLING

YOU, THE LIGHTS ARE ON BUT

NOBODY’S HOME. I’M NOT GOING TO

OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOU TO HURT

ME. IT HURTS TOO MUCH. FOR A

WOMAN, I’M NOT GOING TO OPEN THE

DOOR FOR YOU TO REJECT ME AND

WALK AWAY AND NOT BE TUNED IN

AND NOT BE THERE WHEN I NEED

YOU. IF WE ARE GOING TO HAVE

INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE, IT MEANS

WE TRUST EACH OTHER. A MAN

TRUSTS AN HONORING WOMAN. AND A

WOMAN TRUSTS A SACRIFICIAL MAN.

AND WHEN THE BIBLE TELLS WOMEN

TO RESPECT THEIR HUSBANDS, AND

MEN TO LAY THEIR LIVES DOWN,

HE’S NOT PUTTING YOU DOWN, HE’S

TELLING YOU HOW TO HAVE THE KEY

TO YOUR SPOUSE’S HEART AND TO

ESTABLISH TRUST AND INTIMACY IN

YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.

SO NUMBER ONE, THE ROLES OF

EPHESIANS 5 MAKE US ATTRACTIVE

TO THE OPPOSITE SEX. UNLESS

WE’RE VERY SUPERFICIAL PEOPLE

AND WE MARRY BASED ON A PHYSICAL

ATTRACTION, WHICH WILL, YOU

KNOW, EVAPORATE IN A MATTER OF

DAYS OR WEEKS OR MONTHS. THAT’S

THE WAY IT HAPPENS IN OUR WORLD

TODAY. A LASTING ATTRACTION IN

MARRIAGE IS CREATED BY HONOR AND

BY SECURITY. THE NUMBER TWO

BRILLIANCE OF THE ROLES IN

EPHESIANS 5 IS IT MAKES US

SENSITIVE TO OUR SPOUSE’S NEEDS.

IT NATURALLY SENSITIZES US.

BUT BEFORE YOU’RE COMMITTED

TO EPHESIANS 5, YOU’RE TELLING

EACH OTHER WHAT YOU NEED,

BUT A LOT OF TIMES YOU’RE

NOT LISTENING. KAREN AND I

WEREN’T LISTENING TO EACH OTHER.

YOU KNOW, I WAS TRYING TO

DOMINATE HER, I WAS INSENSITIVE,

I WAS OUT TO LUNCH. SHE WAS

STRUGGLING. I WAS PUTTING HER

DOWN. SHE WAS DISRESPECTFUL

TOWARD ME. WE WERE GROWING

FURTHER AND FURTHER AND FURTHER

APART, AND WE BOTH HAD UNMET

NEEDS, WHICH ARE VERY DANGEROUS.

LISTEN TO ME. WHEN A HUSBAND

COMES TO HIS WIFE AND SAYS TO

HER, I HAVE NOT BEEN A

CHRIST-LIKE HUSBAND TO YOUTHIS

IS WHAT I SAID TO KAREN. I HAVE

NOT BEEN A CHRIST-LIKE HUSBAND

TO YOU. I HAVE NOT CHERISHED

YOU, AND I HAVE NOT NOURISHED

YOU. AND I HAVE PUT GOLF IN YOUR

PLACE, AND I JUSTI’M SORRY FOR

THE WAY I’VE TREATED YOU. I AM.

AND I’LL CHANGE. AND TO MY

HURTTHIS IS WHAT I SAY TO

KARENTO MY HURT, I WILL MEET

YOUR NEEDS. AND YOU WILL NOT

HAVE TO NAG, YOU WILL NOT HAVE

TO BEG, AND YOU WON’T HAVE TO

SAY IT TWICE. I’M COMPLETELY

COMMITTED TO YOU.

WHEN YOUWHEN A MAN IS

COMMITTEDSHE’S IN HEAVEN, BY

THE WAY. SHE’S IN HEAVEN.

WHEN YOU SAY THAT, YOU’LL

NATURALLY BEGIN TO LISTEN.

YOU’LL NATURALLY BEGIN TO MEET

HER NEEDS. BECAUSE YOU WANT TO.

IT’S YOUR PURPOSE NOW. BEFORE IT

WASN’T YOUR PURPOSE. YOU WERE

DOING SOMETHING ELSE AND SHE WAS

JUST ALONG FOR THE RIDE. WHEN A

WOMAN COMES TO HER HUSBAND AND

SAYS TO HIM, I’M SORRY THE WAY

THAT I’VE DISRESPECTED YOU.

I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND THE WAY

MY WORDS AND MY TONE AND MY

ACTIONS HURT YOU SO DEEPLY, YOU

KNOW, AND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS

TO YOU. AND I’M SORRY, AND I

REPENT, AND I WON’T JUSTIFY IT.

WHATEVER MY FRIENDS DO, WHATEVER

I SEE ON TV OR THE MOVIES,

WHATEVER MY MOTHER OR MY

GRANDMOTHER DID, I WILL NOT

NEVER JUSTIFY DISRESPECTING

YOU AGAIN. AND I REALIZE THAT

GOD PUT YOU IN MY LIFE FOR A

REASON, AND I NEED YOU. I NEED

YOUR COUNSEL, I NEED YOUR

WISDOM, I NEED YOUR INPUT.

AND I’M COMMITTED TO BEING A

GODLY WIFE AND PUTTING YOU

FIRST. WHEN YOU DO THAT, LADIES,

YOU NATURALLY BEGIN TO PICK UP

ON WHAT HE’S BEEN TRYING TO SAY

AND THE THINGS THAT ARE

IMPORTANT TO HIM.

I LOVE TO TELL PEOPLE THE GOOD

NEWS THAT THEY CAN SUCCEED IN

MARRIAGE. IT’S JUST WONDERFUL

THAT GOD CREATED MARRIAGE TO BE

SUCCESSFUL, AND WHEN YOU DO IT

PROPERLY, IT’S INDESTRUCTIBLE.

AND SO WEWHAT YOU SAW ON

TODAY’S PROGRAM IS JUST A SMALL

PART OF AN 8-PART SEMINAR THAT I

DO CALLED “THE INDESTRUCTIBLE

MARRIAGE,” TALKING ABOUT

AFFAIR-PROOFING,

DIVORCE-PROOFING, RUST-PROOFING,

HOW TO HAVE INDESTRUCTIBLE LOVE,

INDESTRUCTIBLE COMMUNICATION,

SEXUAL FULFILLMENT IN YOUR

MARRIAGE. A BIG SEMINAR TO HELP

YOU SUCCEED IN EVERY AREA OF

MARRIAGE. AND WE WANT TO PUT

THE FULL RESOURCE INTO YOUR

HANDS, THE FULL MESSAGE THAT YOU

SAW PART OF TODAY, ALONG WITH

THE REST OF THE SEMINAR. RIGHT

NOW, FOR YOUR GIFT OF ANY

AMOUNT, TO SUPPORT US HERE AT

“MARRIAGE TODAY”WE’RE A

MISSION. WE GO ACROSS AMERICA

AND AROUND THE WORLD HELPING

FAMILIES IN THE AREA OF

MARRIAGE. FOR YOUR GIFT OF ANY

AMOUNT, WE WANT TO SEND YOU MY

BOOK, “7 SECRETS OF

SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES.”

FOR YOUR GIFT OF $55 OR MORE,

I WANT TO SEND YOU THE FULL

8-PART CD SERIES,

“THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE,”

ALONG WITH THE BOOK. AND FOR

YOUR GIFT OF $90 OR MORE, IT’S

THE DVD SERIES, ALONG WITH THE

BOOK “SEVEN SECRETS OF

SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES.” THIS CAN

SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE. THIS CAN

CHANGE YOUR LIFE. TRULY. IT CAN

CHANGE GENERATIONS IN YOUR

FAMILY. MAYBE YOU KNOW OF

SOMEBODY GETTING MARRIED OR

SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS THIS KIND OF

A RESOURCE. FOR YOUR GIFT RIGHT

NOW TO “MARRIAGE TODAY,” WE WANT

TO PUT THESE IMPORTANT RESOURCES

INTO YOUR HANDS, AND HERE’S HOW

YOU CAN GET THEM.

>> SUPPORT “MARRIAGE TODAY”

WITH YOUR BEST GIFT AND RECEIVE

THE SERIES “THE INDESTRUCTIBLE

MARRIAGE.” WE’LL ALSO INCLUDE

THE BOOK “7 SECRETS OF

SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES.” THE CD

SERIES AND BOOK ARE YOURS

FOR A GIFT OF $55 OR MORE.

THE DVD SERIES AND BOOK

FOR $90 OR MORE.

“THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE”

SERIES WILL SHOW YOU

THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF LOVE

AND WHY ONLY ONE KIND WILL LAST.

KEYS TO DIVORCE-PROOF

AND AFFAIR-PROOF YOUR MARRIAGE.

HOW TO BE ROMANTIC IN YOUR

SPOUSE’S LANGUAGE,

AND MUCH MORE.

SUPPORT “MARRIAGE TODAY”

WITH YOUR GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT

AND RECEIVE THE BOOK “7 SECRETS

OF SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES.”

EXPERIENCE “THE INDESTRUCTIBLE

MARRIAGE” SERIES TODAY.

Jimmy: IT’S GREAT NEWS THAT GOD

HAS A PERFECT PLAN FOR MARRIAGE.

HE REALLY DOES. SO MANY PEOPLE

TODAY ARE BROKENHEARTED BECAUSE

OF THE FAILURE OF THEIR PARENTS’

MARRIAGES OR A MARRIAGE THAT

THEY ARE IN OR THEY’VE BEEN IN.

BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, GOD

NEVER CREATES ANYTHING TO FAIL.

OR TO FLOUNDER. HE CREATES IT

TO THRIVE AND TO SUCCEED.

AND WHEN YOU ARE DOING YOUR

MARRIAGE ACCORDING TO GOD’S

PERFECT PLAN, IT’S GONNA WORK.

AND EVEN ONE PERSON IN A

MARRIAGE CAN DRAMATICALLY CHANGE

THE MARRIAGE WHEN YOU BEGIN TO

DO WHAT’S RIGHT. BUT THE KEY IS

FAITH. THE DEVIL ALWAYS COMES TO

US WITH FEAR. FEAR IS NOT FROM

GOD. II TIMOTHY 1:7 SAYS THAT

GOD HAS NOT GIVEN US THE SPIRIT

OF FEAR, BUT OF LOVE AND POWER

AND OF A SOUND MIND, IS THAT

FEAR COMES FROM THE DEVIL TO TRY

TO GET US TO DO THE WRONG THING.

AND LET ME SAY, WHEN KAREN AND I

WERE FLOUNDERING IN OUR

MARRIAGE, WE WERE BOTH FULL OF

FEAR. WE WERE BOTH REACTING TO

EACH OTHER IN FEAR. BUT TODAY

WE HAVE A MARRIAGE BASED ON

FAITH IN GOD’S WORD. AND MOST OF

THE PEOPLE THAT I’VE COUNSELED

OVER THE YEARS, THEY’RE FULL OF

FEAR, IS THEY’RE OPERATING BASED

ON THE FEAR OF WHAT THEIR SPOUSE

DOES AND FEAR IF THEY DO THE

RIGHT THING, THEY’RE GOING TO

GET TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF. BUT

GREAT MARRIAGES ARE BASED ON

FAITH. AND THE BIBLE TELLS US

WITHOUT FAITH WE CAN’T PLEASE

GOD. AND SO MY ENCOURAGEMENT TO

YOU RIGHT NOW IS, HAVE FAITH IN

EPHESIANS CHAPTER 5. GOD’S

PERFECT PLAN FOR YOUR MARRIAGE,

AND YOU CAN SUCCEED.

YOU KNOW, THIS PROGRAM,

“MARRIAGE TODAY,” WE GO ACROSS

AMERICA AND AROUND THE WORLD.

OUR PASSION IS TO HELP PEOPLE

IN THE AREA OF THEIR MARRIAGES,

AND WHAT WE KNOW AFTER MANY

YEARS OF DOING THIS IS MANY

THOUSANDS OF MARRIAGES HAVE BEEN

SAVED. DIVORCES HAVE BEEN

CANCELED. WE HAVE COUPLES WHO

ARE DIVORCED AND GET BACK

TOGETHER BECAUSE OF OUR

SEMINARS OR THE TELEVISION

PROGRAM OR RESOURCES OR

WHATEVER. AND THAT’S A THRILL

TO US. BUT IT ONLY HAPPENS

BECAUSE OF OUR FINANCIAL

PARTNERS AND THE PEOPLE WHO

STAND WITH US EVERY MONTH AND

REGULARLY TO GIVE TO THIS

MINISTRY. AND I’M ASKING YOU

TO SUPPORT US IN THIS IMPORTANT

MINISTRY, ESPECIALLY IF WE’VE

HELPED YOU, IF WE’VE TOUCHED

YOUR LIFE AND BLESSED YOU.

KAREN AND I NEED YOU TO STAND

WITH US, AND WE HAVE A GROUP

OF PEOPLE CALLED OUR ROCK SOLID

PARTNERS, AND THESE ARE PEOPLE

WHO SUPPORT US MONTHLY. AND FOR

MONTHLY SUPPORT, YOU GET A

RESOURCE THAT NO ONE ELSE GETS,

AND IT’S THE FIRST AND BEST OF

ALL OF OUR MARRIAGE TEACHING

THAT COMES TO YOU EVERY MONTH.

AND YOU CAN GET IT ONLY

ONLY ELECTRONICALLYON YOUR

iPHONE, YOUR iPAD, YOUR

COMPUTER. YOU CAN GET IT THAT

WAY PLUS PHYSICALLY DELIVERED TO

YOUR HOME, PLUS OTHER BENEFITS

THAT WE OFFER TO OUR MONTHLY

PARTNERS. AND I’M ASKING YOU

RIGHT NOW TO CONSIDER BECOMING A

MONTHLY PARTNER WITH US HERE AT

“MARRIAGE TODAY.” THERE ARE SUCH

GREAT BENEFITS TO THAT.

BUT, LISTEN,

AS YOU’RE HELPING YOUR OWN

MARRIAGEBECAUSE LITERALLY WHEN

YOU SUPPORT US, WE INVEST BACK

INTO YOUR MARRIAGE AND HELP YOU

TO HAVE MONTHLY ONGOING

EDUCATION IN THE AREA OF YOUR

MARRIAGE JUST TO MAKE SURE IT

DOESN’T GET STALE, THAT WHATEVER

SEASON YOU ARE IN YOUR MARRIAGE,

WHATEVER CHALLENGES YOU’RE

FACING, YOU HAVE RESOURCES TO

DEAL WITH THAT. WHAT A GREAT

INVESTMENT IN YOUR OWN MARRIAGE.

BUT AS YOU’RE DOING THAT, YOU’RE

HELPING TO SEND THIS MESSAGE

ACROSS AMERICA AND AROUND THE

WORLD. KAREN AND I ARE ASKING

YOU TO STAND WITH US AS PARTNERS

OF “MARRIAGE TODAY,” AND HERE’S

HOW YOU CAN DO IT.

>> WHEN YOU STAND WITH “MARRIAGE

TODAY,” YOUR INDIVIDUAL EFFORT

MULTIPLIES WITH OTHER

LIKE-MINDED PARTNERS, AND

TOGETHER WE CAN REBUILD THE

DREAM OF MARRIAGE FOR COUPLES

AROUND THE WORLD.

>> I WOULD RECOMMEND BECOMING

A ROCK SOLID PARTNER BECAUSE

YOU ARE GRAFTING INTO A GROUP OF

INDIVIDUALS THAT ARE COMMITTED

TO RESTORING MARRIAGE TO THIS

COUNTRY, AND THAT’S SOMETHING WE

WANT TO BE A PART OF.

>> IN PURSUIT OF THIS VITAL

MISSION, “MARRIAGE TODAY”

UTILIZES A DAILY TELEVISION

BROADCAST, MULTIPLE LIVE EVENTS,

A COMPREHENSIVE ONLINE OUTREACH,

AND HUNDREDS OF MARRIAGE

BUILDING RESOURCES.

YOUR PARTNERSHIP IS LITERALLY

MAKING EVERY FACET OF THIS

MINISTRY POSSIBLE. AND THAT

MEANS COUPLES ARE RECEIVING THE

HELP AND HOPE THEY NEED TO TAKE

THEIR MARRIAGE TO THE NEXT LEVEL

OF FULFILLMENT AND INTIMACY.

>> WE ENJOY THE RESOURCES,

WE ENJOY ALL OF IT. BUT I THINK

JUST KNOWING THAT WE’RE TOUCHING

THE LIVES OF SO MANY OTHER

MARRIAGES, CREATING AN

ATMOSPHERE FOR THEM TO GET THE

HELP THEY NEED.

>> BEING A ROCK SOLID PARTNER

WITH “MARRIAGE TODAY” GRANTS YOU

IMMEDIATE ACCESS TO

AN EXCLUSIVE LIBRARY OF THE

MINISTRY’S RESOURCES AND

INTIMATELY CONNECTS YOU WITH OUR

MISSION OF HELPING COUPLES

SUCCEED IN MARRIAGE.

>> WE’RE PROOF THAT THE MINISTRY

IS BENEFICIAL AND THAT IT WORKS.

IT HAS HELPED TO SAVE US. AND

THAT MEANS THAT OUR CHILDREN GET

TO GROW UP WITH TWO PARENTS IN

A HOME TOGETHER. IT MAKES A

DIFFERENCE IN OUR LIVES EVERY

SINGLE DAY, THAT I COULDN’T

IMAGINE NOT BEING A PARTNER.

>> EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING TO

GIVE, AND THERE ARE MILLIONS OF

UNREACHED COUPLES WHO

DESPERATELY NEED THE MARRIAGE

STRENGTHENING RESOURCES OF

“MARRIAGE TODAY.” THAT’S WHY WE

NEED YOU TO JOIN US. BECOME A

ROCK SOLID PARTNER WITH THE

MINISTRY AND MISSION OF

“MARRIAGE TODAY.”

>> THANK YOU FOR WATCHING

“MARRIAGE TODAY WITH JIMMY &

KAREN.”

BECOME A ROCK SOLID PARTNER

TODAY AND CONNECT WITH THE

MISSION OF “MARRIAGE TODAY.”

TOGETHER WE CAN HELP COUPLES

SUCCEED IN MARRIAGE.

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